Fell back down into depression

My mood completely crashed around 2:30. It felt physical, I could feel the sinking in my chest. I wish I had decided to start an art project. I just felt so tired, but not the kind of tired that lets you take a nap. I am so tired. I am going to pick up my boys at 7:00. Hopefully we have a good evening. They go to bed at 8:00 but I can’t get my son who has autism to sleep in his own room or even go upstairs without me. He moves and rolls and kicks me while he’s sleeping. I always wake up so angry and cranky.

It’s hard because the Abilify is already causing sleep issues, add my son kicking me or the dog pushing into my back and nearly pushing me off the bed. It all just makes me so tired.

Shopping always feels good

I went out this morning to buy a couple things. I’ve been known to get up at 4 am but not this year. There wasn’t anything exciting enough, or that I could afford, to get up and out that early.

I did get myself some art supplies. I like to do found art collages. They aren’t your pretty hang in the kitchen type artwork, too much angst for that, but it will definately be some art therapy and I’m looking forward to starting my list of pieces I want to create. I pick a topic then I search for images, words, and objects that represent that topic. I can also paint and draw onto the canvas board. It’s a great way to poor out your feelings.

I also went to Eastern Mountain Sports. The North Face backpacks were on sale, 20% off. They are never on sale. I didn’t need to buy an expensive, name brand bag but it was everything I wanted. I’d bought and returned two other bags. I’m finally happy with this one.

I also went to the pet store, I needed to get crickets for the lizards. I also got a good deal on rawhides for the dog and a dog bed.

Got home at 9am after all that shopping, I’m totally ready for a nap.

The gas guy called 20 minutes after I got home. They needed to replace my gas meter. I called them after getting bills for only $8.00 even with the heat on. I knew to call right away, if I had waited I would have owed all the money anyway. I also signed up for the monthly program so my bill is spread out over the entire year. I was really worried about huge bills during the winter. Now I’m not as anxious about it.

So it’s still early but I’m feeling good so far. I am anxious about starting group on Monday but I’m also happy that it is starting. The anticipation is always the worst.

Dr. Archer’s response to my blog

Dr. Archer’s blog

I’ve included a link to Dr. Archer’s blog. I started following him on Twitter and he suggested that I share my story. Here is my original email, his response and a couple comments from his other readers.