About me

Diagnosed with Atypical Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder.

I don’t have the typical mania that goes along with bipolar. I have more of a mixed manic or hypo manic state. I become extremely irritated and I have a lot of trouble controlling my impulses; I tend to spend a lot of money that I can’t afford when I’m manic.

I’m a high-functioning, in-acting borderline. This knowledge has finally let me wrap my mind around my BPD.

High-Functioning, In-Acting: generally able to hold a job, keep things together; generally will “keep their cool” in a public forum like the workplace but will lash out him or herself in private over their anger and frustrations unspoken.

Depression affects so many people. I don’t talk about my depression with anyone I know. It’s the social stigma. It still makes people uncomfortable. I have never told any of my friends that I self harm, no one knows outside of my therapy building. I’m too afraid to tell people I care about. I have a therapist and he’s the one I can talk freely with. He’s the only one who knows many of the struggles I have. I don’t know if I will be brave enough to post about the worst parts of my depression, but I hope to try.

I’m a divorced mother of two adopted special needs boys. My younger son has been diagnosed with Autism, Anxiety, ADHD, and separation anxiety. My older son has extreme ADHD, Reactive Attachment disorder, cognitive disorder, processing disorder, and learning disabilities.

Thank you for reading my blog.


7 thoughts on “About me

  1. Lanie says:

    We sound a Lot alike, but I’m having a hell of a time getting a diagnosis since I have to rely on our community mental health (no insurance and not much money to pay out of pocket).

  2. Stephanie says:

    Thanks for posting your stories. You are not alone. I hate suffering, but I hate it worse to see others suffering. Everyone tells me better days are coming – I’m still waiting. I hope they will come for you soon.

  3. Thank you Merbear, I will check out your blog.

  4. merbear264 says:

    I get it. Check out my blog. knockedoverbyafeather

  5. Oh I’m hearing ya!
    2 of my 3 kids have autism and I have clinical depression too.
    It is debilitating and excrutiating and yes….that stigma STINKS! Sending you a big hug across the interwebs (( )).

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