Depression is evil. If you suffer from depression people get frustrated with you. They think that it’s a choice. The last thing I would choose is to have no motivation. Right now I can’t do anything. I can’t clean my house, do my dishes, play with my animals…
I spend so much time in bed that I’ve begun to hate my bed but I can’t keep myself from going back over and over again. I spent most of today in bed. I haven’t done anything productive. I have prescriptions to fill but I can’t leave the house. My bed feels safe but I don’t know what I need to feel safe from.
I haven’t had a call from a friend all week. I feel lost and unhappy. I don’t want to call anyone because when I’m this depressed I tend to isolate myself. I hide away from people.
I don’t know what to do with myself and I can’t stand living in my own skin.
People support other people when they have illnesses that they understand. I know people who have made dinners to help people, who have helped them with their houses. None of this happens when you struggle with mental illness. I’m expected to get over it. When it’s really bad I just can’t. I can’t do anything. I wish I felt supported by people I’m not paying to support me. My therapist supports me but I pay him to.