Some days I’m just not okay #depression #bipolar #selfharm New blog post

I had a really bad morning. I ended up self harming today. I’m not proud of it. Some days it’s all I can do. I wanted to scream “I AM NOT OKAY!” But who would I scream it to and what good would it do.

There are times I really hate how dependent I feel on therapy. I don’t have group or individual this week. I couldn’t fit my individual in because of the TMS and group is cancelled because Monday is a holiday. I feel an amazing amount of stress about not having anything at all. I hate that I am so stressed about it.

I didn’t do anything productive today or yesterday. I slept almost the entire day yesterday. At least I managed to stay awake today. I am doing a little better now than I was doing this morning. I distracted myself for a while by chatting with a friend on the internet and it brought my mood up a little bit.

I’m frustrated because I was really hoping that the TMS would be showing some results at this point and I’m actually feeling lower now than I was when I started. It’s not good.

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2 thoughts on “Some days I’m just not okay #depression #bipolar #selfharm New blog post

  1. I’m so sorry to hear what a hard time you’re having!! I will be thinking of you and sending you good healing vibes. Please be kind to yourself.

  2. Depression sucks, it really, really does and I’m sorry you feel this way right now. I used to self harm a lot, I don’t so much now and to be honest I don’t really know why I stopped. Sometimes I want to go back and do it again. It’s hard to deal with those feelings. Therapy is useful. Writing is my therapy. Keep blogging, show depression who’s boss!

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