Today is my 12th day of TMS. It’s been 16 days since I started. I’ve been really low and sad. I have an issue with self-harm but I hadn’t cut since April. Unfortunately I cut on Sunday. All last week it was banging at my brain, not the TMS, the need to self-harm. I actually feel lower than when I started the TMS. I know someone who is also doing TMS and they said that they had a dip before it started to get better. I hope so. I really thought this would be an answer.
My motivation is really low. My mood is really low. I feel cranky and irritable. I ended up waking up with a headache this morning. That doesn’t happen to me very often but it such a crappy way to start the day.
Feeling even lower. Probably down to a three. I’m really sad and irritable today. The irritability worries me because when I become hypomanic I get really irritable. I’m hoping it’s not a result of the TMS.
Day six today. I’m feeling low still. Probably a four.
The pain didn’t feel like much of anything today. The doctor said after a while you get used to it. He was right. I was a little worried going back after a couple days off. I thought it would hurt a lot again but it didn’t.
So today was the last day of my first week of TMS. I’m feeling pretty low today. Maybe a four on a scale of 1 – 10
No side effects beyond the sensitivity of the top of my head. It’s mild though and I can only feel it occasionally. The pain wasn’t that bad today. I wasn’t as cranky as yesterday and I’m sure that is related to my tolerance level. No headache after the treatment was over.
The top of my head is a little bit sensitive. I took Advil yesterday on an empty stomach with no water, dry swallowed, and ended up with en entire day of horrible heartburn. won’t do that again.
Today was a bit more trying than they other days. I was very tired today. I visited some friends yesterday and got home really late and then couldn’t fall asleep at all so I was tired and worn out when I showed up for the TMS. It’s hard to have to put up with pain by choice when you are tired and cranky.
It seemed to hurt more today and I’m sure it’s because I was so tired and cranky. Tomorrow is the end of my first week then I get a couple days off before I go back on Monday. I’m glad that I have the weekends off. I feel like I need a break.
Day two today. We got up to 115% I probably could have gone the full 120 but the nurse and I were chatting LOL
I had a small localized headache for a little while last night. I was anxious about something else and I think that exasperated the headache.
I got all my appointment times for the next six weeks. It’s actually through October with the taper and a few added on for ones missed at other times. It looks so nuts to see all those on my calendar. I think I am going to be exhausted by the time it’s over.