I’ve been on the lowest dose of Depakote for a week. I’m supposed to up my dose today. I’m not okay. I’m struggling with my low mood. I’m so damn tired of feeling this way. If I had a crystal ball that told me I would always feel this way and nothing was going to help I would tap out. I hate feeling like this.
Spending time with people sometimes helps in the moment but not always. Yesterday I had a long day with people and I found myself sinking into sadness randomly throughout the day. I would just feel overwhelmed by it.
We are on school vacation and have the next week off. I hate vacations. I can’t handle all this time. Although lately I can’t handle work anymore either. I feel overwhelmed by every little bit of stress at work. I used to feel like I could handle stress pretty well. Now I feel like it knocks me flat.
I finally slept well last night for the first time all week. I’ve been waking up at three in the morning and struggling to fall back asleep.
Sometimes I wonder of all these medications have made me worse rather than better. I don’t remember having such bad anxiety before I was on medications. What would happen if I slowly tapered off everything. I can’t feel worse than to do right now. I know the medications are not helping me.