I have a friend who’s boyfriend, now fiance, has always made me uncomfortable. He drinks and when he drinks he makes innapropriate comments. He’s always asking me why I don’t drink more when I am at their house and as he gets drunker he starts asking to see, in his words, my tits. When I don’t comply he says it’s because I don’t like him. I had a stepfather when I was a teenager who crossed boundries all the time and my friends fiance totally triggers me back to those feelings of my stepfather. I actually had stopped spending time at my friends house because I was afraid that one day he would take his agressive behavior too far.
Last night another one of my friends told me that he assaulted her. He was really drunk and he was all over her. My friend was in another room. She nicely tried to push him away for 45 minutes! Finally he ended up putting his hand down her pants. When she told me this I felt so sick. She made him leave the room at this point but the damage had been done. I always knew he would go too far. That’s why I stopped going to my friend’s house. I love her dearly and we don’t know what to do. They are engaged and I’m afraid of him.
My friend doesn’t want to say anythng. She doesn’t want to hurt our other friend’s feelings. I really think my friend needs to tell our other friend what happened. Sadly I don’t think it will change anything. She’s a beautiful person and I love her but she’s so enmeshed with this guy that I think she’ll just explain his behavior away because he was drunk. Being drunk is no excuse for that.
I’m so unhappy. I love my friends so much. I knew something bad was going to happen. I really knew it. It’s why I have been avoiding this guy for so long.
The whole thing makes me so sad. I love my friend and I want the best for her. I don’t know what we should do.