I’m really struggling today. I wasn’t able to take all my meds last night because I don’t have enough money to refill my perscriptions until payday. I don’t know why I am having such a difficult time catching up with my bills. I’m not behind on any of the actual bills but I don’t have anything left. My cuboards are completely bare. I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly or cheese sandwiches all week. It feels like I’m back in college again. I hate this feeling. I had to borrow gas money for my car. On top of that I’ve got water backing up all over my house. I took a shower this mirning and my downstairs bathroom filled up with water. My kitchen sink won’t drain and my washing machine floods when I run it. I need to call a plumber but where the hell is that money coming from?
So I couldn’t take my Naltrexone last night. I don’t know if that’s supposed to effect my mood but it has. I’m feeling really low. I’ve been in a horrible mood all day. I’m really struggling to not self-harm. I haven’t cut since April and I want to keep that going but I really want the relief that I know I will get.
The issues with my kids continue to stress me out. I need to escape and I don’t know how.
My group therapy is cancelled for a few weeks. I hate that. I hate changes in my schedule. I don’t have OCD but when it comes to changes in my schedule I get upset and uncomfortable.
Living in the Well 
I think you must not compromise with your medicines- if the medicines are helping you in any way, then you must not stop taking them. Borrow some money from some of your friend/family, if need be. My best wishes for you!
Take Care!
Love,
HA
I will only be without the Naltrexone for 3 days. I think I’ll be alright. I feel like I’ve borrowed all I can. I don’t want to get myself owing too many people or I’ll be right back in the same place in two weeks. Luckily I have enough of my other meds to make it until payday.
I appreciate your concern!
I completely understand. There have been times for me that it seems no matter how much I plan, I never have the money to cover what I need. I also get about being upset by schedule changes. I’m not OCD, either, but I get close to a panic attack when things change, especially if it’s a sudden, unexpected change and I don’t have time to process it. That really messes me up. My therapist has learned that if she needs to cancel a session, I need almost a weeks notice!
So far my therapist has never cancelled a scheduled appointment. That’s pretty amazing after three years of therapy. Group is every week so obviously holidays and vacations mess it up but it’s amazing how hard it is. I posted a few weeks ago how much I hate my dependancy on therapy, but what can you do I need it.
Thank you for the reply!