I’m really struggling today. I wasn’t able to take all my meds last night because I don’t have enough money to refill my perscriptions until payday. I don’t know why I am having such a difficult time catching up with my bills. I’m not behind on any of the actual bills but I don’t have anything left. My cuboards are completely bare. I’ve been eating peanut butter and jelly or cheese sandwiches all week. It feels like I’m back in college again. I hate this feeling. I had to borrow gas money for my car. On top of that I’ve got water backing up all over my house. I took a shower this mirning and my downstairs bathroom filled up with water. My kitchen sink won’t drain and my washing machine floods when I run it. I need to call a plumber but where the hell is that money coming from?
So I couldn’t take my Naltrexone last night. I don’t know if that’s supposed to effect my mood but it has. I’m feeling really low. I’ve been in a horrible mood all day. I’m really struggling to not self-harm. I haven’t cut since April and I want to keep that going but I really want the relief that I know I will get.
The issues with my kids continue to stress me out. I need to escape and I don’t know how.
My group therapy is cancelled for a few weeks. I hate that. I hate changes in my schedule. I don’t have OCD but when it comes to changes in my schedule I get upset and uncomfortable.