I hate when my regular therapy routine is interrupted. My group therapist is on vacation next week and the week after is a holiday. Two weeks without group. My anxiety goes up just thinking about it. I know that people who don’t rely on therapy can’t understand how much we rely on the knowledge that it will be there. Knowing that it won’t be there causes some fairly intense anxiety. I should have scheduled my one on one therapy so that it would fall in the hole created by the cancellation of group.
I feel triggered just writing about this. My anxiety is going up; my chest feels tight and I feel a general sense of of disquiet.
I wonder if anyone has written about the dependancy created by therapy. I’ve been in individual therapy for the past three years and group therapy for the past year. Has been in therapy created a dependancy I never had before. If I stopped therapy I know that it would be miserable at first, like quitting an addiction, would the dependancy go away? If anyone has seen studies based on this I would really be interested in seeing them. I don’t like these anxieties, I know that I’ve become more anxious in the past few years. Digging into my past has definately caused me to become more wound up.
Would it be better to leave all this alone? Would I be better off in the long run or would I struggle more later in life? Some interesting questions.