I spoke with my regular therapist about stoping Dialectical behavior therapy. I was having a hard time connecting with the DBT therapist. Not only was she female, I don’t connect well with other women, she was also younger than me. I know these things shouldn’t matter and I really tried to stick with it but I found myself dreading the days I knew I had to go to DBT. DBT is supposed to teach skills to use to deal with stressful interpersonal interactions. I don’t tend to have trouble with interpersonal relationships. It’s also supposed to teach distress tolerance skills. I do have problems with tolerating distress but since my medications have been worked out I’ve done really well.
The truth is I just really hated DBT, it just wasn’t working for me. I still see my individual therapist and I still go to my group therapy, I just dropped DBT. The hardest part was telling the therapist. I could have gone the chicken route and just left a voicemail but talking directly to people is one of my weaknesses and I knew that I had to tell her face to face no matter how uncomfortable it was. She said that she was impressed that I did that. I even told her that part of the reason was that I was having difficulty connecting with her. I’m sure she felt that too, it always felt so uncomfortable. I talked to my therapist but not my group leader. I’m not sure how E will feel about me ending DBT but I know he will be happy that I was able to end it face to face.
My stomach was rolling all day. I always find any type of confrontation so difficult, even one I know will end well. I mean what is the worst thing that could have happened? She wasn’t going to get angry with me, she’s paid to not get angry, but it’s still such a hard thing to do. That and I’m one of those co-dependant types that worries that I might hurt someone’s feelings. I’m sure losing me as a client wasn’t a big deal but I didn’t want the therapist to feel bad. Co-dependant hell, right?