The weekend was rough, really rough. I was in such a dark place. Usually I would have group tonight but Dr. E is on vacation so no group tonight. I felt so low, the time just crawled by. I know the worst thing for someone struggling with depression is to be alone but I didn’t have anyone to spend it with and even if I did I didn’t want to pull them down into my hole.
Because of the difficulties with my kids I haven’t had them on weekends for a while. I know that my health isn’t up for dealing with their special needs I also know that it leaves me alone more often.
The pressure in my chest doesn’t want to go away. The emotional struggle, the emotional pain, sometimes it feels like it’s killing me.
A holiday weekend is coming up, a long weekend and a holiday. Those are harder for me to handle. I have anxiety just thinking about it. There’s a week vacation coming up, the idea almost sends me over the edge with anxiety.