I’m not even sure where to begin this one. I’ve been having surch a hard time with my son. I only have them part-time and I really struggle with my reactions to his behaviors. I know I overreact with my emotions to his emotions. I try so hard to make it work but it’s so hard.
I started a new medication and it has me really wiped out. I’m taking 10 mg doxepin and 2 mg of klonopin at night. I’m hoping the exhaustion doesn’t stay with me.
The psycologist who runs my group and who knows me through group and also through my therapist doesn’t think that BPD is the correct diagnosis. He said that he thinks it’s being a childhood trauma survivor, PTSD resulting from those traumas, and depression. He said that trauma survivors can often have BPD type symptoms.
My therapist is going to set me up with a Dialectic Behavior Therapist. My mental health team, as I’ve begun to think of them, all agree that I need to learn better coping skills than the self harm. I agree. One of the medications I am going to be taking is Naltrexone. Which is actually used to help alcoholics and opiod addicts. The medications blocks the endorphins that cause an individual to return to the negative behavior. The hope is that without the endorphins the cutting won’t serve a need and will stop. My biggest worry about that is if I start the med before I have other coping skills what will I end up doing.
Dr. G agrees that I need the skills first and the DBT, dialectic behavior therapy, will give me those skills.
So the struggle continues but I am commited to fighting my way through this and coming out on the otherr side healthier for it.
My team; M, Dr. G, Dr. E, and one more to be named later.