Whenever I was asked on a form for a doctor’s office there’s always that section; Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental health disorder? It was never hard to write down depression. A lot of people struggle with depression, I knew I had depression.
Yesterday I met with a new psychiatrist. My Therapist and the doctor that runs my group decided that I should see the Medical Director and senior staff psychiatrist at the practice I go to. He spent two hours with me over the course of two days while going over the notes from the time I started seeing my therapist there in 2009.
Yesterday he told me I had Borderline Personality Disorder.
It stopped me in my tracks. He read off 10 markers for Borderline and asked me which I thought applied to me. Five positive responses were required, I had eight.
He said that he had thrown a lot at me in two days and how did I feel. I told him that I was freaked out about the diagnosis. He responded, “This isn’t something new, this is something you’ve already had we’ve just put a name to it. Don’t be too freaked out.” It should help but I’m still freaked out.