I’ve gotten comments on twitter that my blog is very negative. I have no idea how I make my pain positive. I am trying to better myself, I have a therapist, go to group therapy, and have a psychiatrist. This is my place to vent. I don’t tell my friends how low I really am. Not one of my friends knows about the self harm, which has escalated lately. My response to those who think I’m being overly negative…maybe you need to find the puppies and rainbows blog because it’s definately not here.
I’ve felt so low for so many weeks. I’m going to tell my psychiatrist that I will accept the referral he’s offered me. I guess he’s giving up on me, but I need help. I can’t live like this.
I know the urge to tell someone to stop fucking whining, stop with the pity party and pick yourself up. I’ve tried so hard. I know that I am powerless over my depression and I am powerless over my self harm. I wish there were support groups for self harm. I know the best thing that I could have is a sponsor who is in recovery from self harm. A person who is an older woman (like myself). Someone to call and tell when I feel like I am going to hurt myself because I don’t want to, I’m just powerless.
There are 12 step meetings for everything except self harm. The online groups don’t work for me I’ve tried.