I have a three day weekend, I ended up laying in bed not doing anything for most of today. I know depression is real but I hate that little voice in my head that says, “You are just lazy. Get up!” then I feel worse because I struggle with believing that I’m not just lazy. I have struggled with depression for a very long time, when I was a teenager my brother used to call me lazy all the time. He knew it upset me and he would use it often. That voice echos in my head all too often.
I wish my friends understood. One of my friends thinks that I just need to stop “moping”, my other friend thinks that antidepressants are useless and gives me a hard time about them. I got upset with her last night. I told her that I needed her to not talk about that with me anymore. That I needed support. She said that she was supporting me that she was worried that I wouldn’t tell the doctor no if I didn’t want to take them. I’ve told the doctor no 21 times, for the 21 antidepressants that I had to stop taking because of the side effects. She doesn’t understand that unconditional support needs to be unconditional.
I wish my friends understood that support is what I need not judgement.