Christmas day, depression and loneliness

Christmas day – I’ll be alone for most of the day. Late in the day I’ll pick up my kids for a couple hours so I can feel inferior to my ex who, I’m sure, spent a ton of money on presents. I actually woke up in tears. I can’t stand how this time of year makes me feel.

When I was younger and lived in my own broken family I wanted nothing more than to create a big family so I never had to feel like this. I failed at that too. I don’t know how to connect with people anymore.

I haven’t had a date since my divorce 6 years ago. I tried online dating and that was a disaster.

It all makes you want to totally give up even though you know that because you have kids now that is no longer an option. Fighting the urge to self-harm today (the gift you give yourself).

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Christmas day, depression and loneliness

  1. Trixie says:

    Oh my…I really wish my comment would get to you before you even again think of doing harm onto yourself…There are plenty of others struggling during the holiday season; broken families begin to become more distant, and family members become increasingly aware of their disfunctionality. However, please realize that there is always a product of all events and situations. Count your blessings, tell yourself at least 2 positive things about you or your life every day; and certainly don’t lose hope. You have your children; have them become your support system. Surround yourself with good company, and enjoy a day or 2 enjoying something you love to do. =)

    P.S. I don’t know if I posted this twice as my internet froze..So I apologize for duplicates

  2. Trixie says:

    Oh my…I really wish my comment would get to you before you even again think of doing harm onto yourself…There are plenty of others struggling during the holiday season; broken families begin to become more distant, and family members become increasingly aware of their disfunctionality. However, please realize that there is always a product of all events and situations. Count your blessings, tell yourself at least 2 positive things about you or your life every day; and certainly don’t lose hope. You have your children; have them become your support system. Surround yourself with good company, and enjoy a day or 2 enjoying something you love to do. =)

  3. Reaching out to you today…I have two boys with Aspergers. My 16 year-old is pretty depressed as well. This is a tough time of the year. Realize you are not alone. You do have blessings, i.e. your children and this online community of supporters. Hugs to you on this Christmas Day!

Feedback is appreciated

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s