Support group – what if they don’t want me there

I went to my second night of my new support group last night. I was very worried about not being wanted. Dr. G mentioned that before they decided to add another member to the group that they spoke about it and the biggest worry was that people wouldn’t get as much time. Last week when I was there that was mentioned too. Last night a woman said she didn’t want to be a part of the group anymore. She felt that adding another member would definately take away from everyone else. I felt like shit. I totally felt like I wasn’t wanted there. The woman talked for quite a while about what was going on and got feedback from the other members, all whom did not want her to leave. It felt like she didn’t like me and she hadn’t even met me yet.

At the end of group Dr. G asked me how I felt about people saying that they were worried about not getting as much of the group’s time. I told the group that I had been worrying about it as I was driving there that night, and for the entire week before, and before last weeks group, and also since Dr. G mentioned it the first time we spoke. I told them that I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was pushing them out or taking away from them.

That’s when people started speaking up. One woman said that she was very comfortable with me, that she felt like she’d always known me. Another man said that he knew people and he knew right away that I would fit in. Everyone seemed to have something positive to say to me except the woman who wanted to leave because of me. Dr. G said that it was his fault too because he has trouble starting the group on time and he was definately trying to start on time. He told me that if I had been worrying about it that I could have asked for feedback from the group. I told him that I wasn’t ready to do that yet. He nodded. I’m sure he understood that I need some time before I can jump in with something like that.

I felt better after everyone had spoken which was good because if that hadn’t happened I would have left there in tears.

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2 thoughts on “Support group – what if they don’t want me there

  1. AspieSide says:

    I have moderated groups before and although everyone is entitled to their feelings if they had concerns with a new member that should have been discussed with the moderator Dr. G, not in your presence. Just my opinion I guess but it is a SUPPORT group. I am glad that the others spoke up and said that they wanted you there. If that person had an issue with you being there it is their issue, not yours. Maybe they need more time outside of group with a therapist to work on other issues or something and that is their issue.

    You have every right to be there & should feel supported. I certainly think you should continue to go or find a different group that would actually be supportive but whatever you do, keep going for the support you need.

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