Thanksgiving when you are depressed

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I spent the morning cooking breakfast for the football team and their families, over 100 people. It felt good to have something to do. It also felt good that I volunteered. There is something better about doing something hard that you aren’t getting paid for. After the breakfast I was walking up to the football game and a couple in front of me was a dollar short for their ticket. The wife was going to run back to their car, I stopped her and gave her the dollar. It would have been crazy to go all the way back too the parking lot for a buck.

At the breakfast there was a vase with a flower on all the tables. After the breakfast I gathered them all up.

I had my boys last night. It was rough. They are both having med issues and both of them act out in the evenings. It got to the point where I started to cry, sob actually. I just want to have some good memories with my boys but when they are together they set each other off in such a horrible way. I know people can’t understand how hard it is to have one child with autism and another child with severe ADHD. I would love to be able to go somewhere fun with the two of them but without someone else to help, somone who understands their issues, it just doesn’t work.

I’m not going anywhere for Thanksgiving dinner. I end up having to lie to people about my plans. The only family I have spends the holiday together and I can’t be around my ex and how cruel she is to me just to eat turkey with my brother and my kids. It kills me that my brother has picked my ex to be his family instead of me but there is nothing I can do about it. Being at someone elses house just makes me feel worse. I like it better being home. Holidays are the only time I would prefer to spend the time alone than with other people.

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One thought on “Thanksgiving when you are depressed

  1. UPDATE
    7:00pm

    I didn’t go anywhere for Thanksgiving but I’m feeling pretty good. Usually I feel really low, I wonder if the Abilify is starting to work. If it is starting to work hopefully the side effects will tone down. It’s supposed to make you tired but if I take it at night I can’t fall asleep, if I take it in the morning I feel like a zombie. Hopefully it will all work out.

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