After waking up yesterday in such a bad mood I knew I needed to get out of the house so I went out and about. I started at the grocery store and was excited when the bill was under $100. I brought the stuff home and only put away what needed to go in the fridge before I was out the door again.
I went to look for a new pair of shoes for work without luck but ended up at the mall. While I was there I realized that I hadn’t actually been to the mall in a year and they had remodeled the entire place. Shopping is one of those things that makes me feel better when I’m down but always makes me feel guilty when I realize that I’ve bought things I don’t need and can’t afford. So I ended up spending $80 for a North Face backpack. Luckily better sence prevailed and I returned it.
I did end up getting a set of collapsable headphones though. Those I did actually need since I had gotten my ear buds wet and only one worked. Listening to my podcasts of Loveline in mono was making me dizzy.
I need to rake the back yard today. It looks like all the leaves have finally fallen off the trees so hopefully this will be the last time this year. I’m lucky I have a small yard. I haven’t actually had to rake leaves since I was a kid. I lived in apartments and the house I lived in with my ex didn’t have any trees. I do feel some pride when I work in my yard. I bought this house over the summer. I never thought I would be able to buy a house on my own. It has definately helped my self-esteem and given me something to feel good about.
It doesn’t always help with the depression but there are days when it gives me the boost I need to get up and get moving.
I had really crappy credit, I had a bankruptcy and my car was reposessed. My twenties were not easy for me. I’m lucky that I’m in a better place financially these days. I’m not making tons of money and I still need to work out my budget because I tend to run out of money before my next bi-weekly check.
I actually finished raking the leaves. I’m proud of myself, it’s so much easier to sit and do nothing. Depression is a constant battle.