I saw my Psychiatrist yesterday. He said he couldn’t think of anything else to try, that we’ve tried everything. It was everything I could do not to burst into tears. He ended up giving me a script for Abilify. I’ve tried Abilify before, it totally disrupts my sleep. Even taking sleep meds with Abilify I can’t sleep. The last time I took it after 5 days of no sleep what-so-ever I called the office in tears because I was overwhelmed with exhaustion. How is it going to be different this time?
Feeling like my doctor is giving up on me made my chest feel so heavy. In my world the results of this type of pain are drinking, klonopin and self harm. The cut was so deep I could see the fat cells underneath my skin. Ironically I’ve cut myself in that area so many times that it hardly bled. The scar tissue has probably destroyed all the veins in that section of my thigh.