Declaring a major

I came out in my late 20’s. Everyone who knew me wasn’t surprised. I dressed in comfortable clothes, shopped in the men’s departments and preferred work boots instead of high heels. I had been in a couple long-term relationships with men that ended for other reasons, not because of my sexuality. I had a few short term relationships with women. There is always a straight girl wanting to “try it out.”

Then I ended up in a long term relationship with a woman. We got married and had a couple of kids. The relationship didn’t work out.

Now I find myself in a weird place. I’m attracted to men. My divorce was so bad that right now I could’t imagine getting mixed up with a woman again. It has been quite a while since my divorce. I find myself “coming out” all over again.

I use a few different terms to describe it…

Swimming in either ocean
Not declaring a major
Haven’t picked a team

This may get some people upset but I don’t like the term bisexual and I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s because people understand being attracted to either men or women but people don’t seem to understand just being attracted to people. I am attracted to a personality first. Don’t get me wrong there are specific parts of men and women that I find attractive, but not in a relationship kind of way.

It may not be something that I have to understand. I’m not in a place right now where I can put any energy into a relationship. It would be nice though.


One thought on “Declaring a major

  1. I don’t think there’s anything wrong or negative about the term bisexual – I think it means just what you described, that you are attracted to the actual *person* and gender isn’t an issue.

    I’m straight, so I haven’t been through the same issues as you have and I won’t pretend to understand, but I have been through bad break-ups before and it’s important to remember that everyone is different, so you may not have the same issues with one girl as you did with another. Don’t write us all off. 😉 That said, make sure you’re ready to date before you take the plunge. Or just date casually? Maybe you’re not ready for a committed relationship?

    Anyway, I just stopped by and read your blog for the first time after seeing it on the WordPress forums and wanted to tell you to hang in there!

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